:: a fairytale?? ::

I was watching the movie "Music and Lyrics" again that was showing on SKY movies channel this afternoon. One phrase in the show struck me. "...you always have this fairytale in your head and when it doesn't happen, you can't deal with it..." Something along that line. I think I'm also such a person. I like to dream and I always dream the most perfect fairytale. I like to paint a wonderful picture of everything that surrounds me. I wanted to be that someone, to have that something, etc etc... But the truth is... You don't always get what you dream about. And I can't deal with that. Of course, you would continue to strive towards that dream of yours but sometimes its just beyond your capacity. And then you start settling for second best? Now... that doesn't sound right. I think one should not settle for second best. It's All or Nothing...isn't it?

I always dreamt to have a beautiful wedding...a fairytale wedding. I think that's one of the most defining moments of one's life. The start of a brand new chapter, a new beginning of another exciting life together. But that's the extent to what I dream about. I don't have details about how beautiful my wedding would be. It will just be b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l. Something that's beyond words, beyond any description. It is just a feeling, you know it when it comes. How silly isn't it?

When all the wedding preparation started, I began to think hard of what I want... What's in the fairytale that I have been dreaming about? It didn't drop from the sky. I bought magazines and checked the internet for references. Everything in the magazines looks so fabulous but sadly you can't put everything together!! It would really look hideous wouldn't it? Its tough to make such decisions! And then it slowly comes together piece by piece.

I'm not joking when I say I had several nightmares of the wedding. I don't know why but I guess I was too stressed and worried too much that things would not run smoothly. It's just the mild perfectionist in me. But there was one nightmare that made me pretty happy. In it, everything was chaotic except for one thing - my hair! It was beautiful! And you know who styled it? My dearest grandma! This particular nightmare made me smile. When my sis and I were young, she was the one who always styled our hair to make us look like princesses, be it ponytails, plaits or buns. I miss her so much...and wish she was still around to witness my wedding. I guess she's in a better place now...perhaps she has a better view of all of us from up above. :p