:: Fuming mad ::

Imagine this situation.
He came over to my house and as we were about to leave, I informed my bro (he's in the toilet) that i'll be using the Honda as I couldn't find the key for Spark. Guess what my bro replied? "Don't make my car SMELLY!" in chinese. I was totally disgusted by that response. And you think this person here doesn't understand chinese? We just leave the house without driving.

Luckily, he was cool about it and he can understand.

But I was fuming mad! First of all, the car doesn't belong to my bro! It's my dad coz he paid for it! I have never ever claim that the car is mine even though i drove it. That aside, I have, all along knew he doesn't like any other people other than his own race, BUT that doesn't give him the right to be RUDE! Especially when that person is here and he understand chinese!!
I just think it was toally uncalled for.

When i came home later, he wanted to have a talk with me. He reiterate the fact that he doesn't him (well he never like any of my boyfriends even though they are chinese). But I told him I knew and there's nothing I can do about it. He said since the day i made this decision, i should have known that people will look at me in a different way. And that I have to accept that he won't accept him. Well, the thing is I thought through all these and I know what I am into. Well he also talked about other things.

He even said I should spare a thought for my parents..that I am upsetting them by doing these. Guess what? I know all along..that's why i have been hesitating to tell them after these years..just to make sure this relationship is going to be certain. Well, now...my parents have seen him, they have talked to me..and they have seemed to be ok with him already. So I told my bro i have spoken to my parents and they are ok already. However, my bro said that they are ok because I am their daughter and they love me. But if I were to really asked them, deep down they won't be ok.

So what am i suppose to do? I dun purposely go and look for someone that my parents or my bro doesn't like. It just happened! And its not like the person is some crook or thief or some gangsters!

Sigh. I never expect my bro to like him and i told him..if there ever gonna be this day, its a bonus. But till now, I have never expect the day to come.

And then ultimately, he said he hoped i know what I am doing and don't make my parents worry anymore. Of coz i know that!

And I never forget this comment he made some time ago, that if I ever marry him and become a muslim, he will treat it as he has never had this sister before.

Sometimes I feel so angry about it. Sometimes I feel sad. Tell me what have i done wrong? Just because I love someone who is not my race, not of the same religion? And is this person less humane than anyone of my own race and religion?
Tell me where have i done wrong.

:: Do you believe in Zodiac?::

Do you believe in star signs?
I do! But to a certain extent. Somehow through my observation, i realised that people of the same sign share similar traits or characteristics of that sign. However, i surely do not believe in those crap where they predict about what your day or year is gonna be.

Hmm...so if you wanna know how this irritatingly-annoying-inquisitive Aries (me!!) works....read this coz i think its pretty true for me:
(Ps: Let me know if you want to have your sign posted. Its too long for me to paste everything here..so on request..)

ARIES WOMAN
She thinks the world is watching her through the eye glasses of rose petal frame. She thinks people think and talk about her only about good things and often disappoint to know the fact that they are not true and not even real, so she will feel hurt. She think her path has to be a beautiful one.(true!!) She think only good things so she prepares and always make arrangement for herself to be in the right path always, quite systematic indeed.

If there is no guy in her life, she will be busy with herself. This seemingly ordinary woman will push herself to meet her goal. Her face mostly will be slim and long, high cheek bone, Eye brow slightly curve up, slight tall more than short, thin lips and she will have quite a confusing or mixture of character.

Sometimes, she will be very careful about guy she will mingle with. She thinks as if she has a main CPU in her head and she could memorize everything from her childhood. When she faces with problems, she will handle them and solving them very well, and at the same time showing other people that she has that capability. She can put her mind in solving problems in crisis better than many other Zodiac. Once she determine to do thing, nothing will stop her.

Woman in this Zodiac could be totally different from one woman to another woman. You could see her in the party dancing like flash dance or dirty dancing, as well you could also see her as an old fashion lady or a geek. She could be someone flashy and wanted by many men, or she could be a cold and non-social person. She will have her own way to win you over. Once she choose you, she will need to be proud of you. (so true!!)

"Love" is not as important to her as "Marriage". Her real goal in life is "Safety" and her position in other people sight need to be "Secure". She plans her life, and socially life easily and very carefully. (yea!!) She is also very artistic and realistic, so if you are a nobody or nothing, no chance because she loves ambition and a good life. She need lots of love, but do not want and do not belief in an occasional or unconventional love. (of course!!)

She is a proud in nature type, so if you see a woman in this Zodiac come from a poor family, she will act like a woman from a noble family by birth anyway (certainly there are always exception). She always look cool even when she is not. She like to make people see her as "secure and confident" even she is a mixed emotion and mixed character type. If she is mad, you can tell right away and she can stay moody for quite a long time. ("_")'


You never have all her times, for she likes to work hard and also spent some spare times working for charity. You will see woman in this zodiac a "Volunteer" for camp, and if she is in a high society, she will most likely be a president or a V.P. of a "Club". She is a romantic and artistic, but being poor and unstable is certainly not in her dreams. Her beautiful imaginations need to be realistic, for failure is not in her plan.

A Goat always climb high, so either she start from a low point or a high point, she will make sure at the end she will have the best spot. She will not show her ambition, but she will show that she satisfy with herself now. Once you look back she already moved up again , quietly but sure.

If she is your love one, be supportive and understand her. She is stubborn, but she will listen. She will act like a gentle fragile person,but in fact she can stick you down like a super glue without you knowing it.

:: Overdue ::

Had some wine with Jenn yesterday and had a long chat. Talk about almost everything and anything. Well, of course, the topic of men and relationship kept us busy cursing and swearing. Sometimes, we just dun understand some men. Oh well, i must admit sometimes i dun understand myself too. So both of us were basically chatting about such stuff..trying to figure out some issues.

Have you ever waited long for certain things to happen but when it actually happen, you just dun feel the same anymore? It's like its long overdue. The mood is lost, the feeling is gone.. but isn't this what you have been waiting for?

I have been wanting to go for holidays during this leave. Because of certain problems in his work, we couldn't set a date to it. I was really looking very forward to it. But he just couldn't give me an answer. So finally, I'm sick of asking and convinced myself that i'll be staying put on this island. However, a call from him yesterday told me that he had settled the problem and we'll be able to go somewhere from mon to wed. Guess what? I've totally lost the interest, the mood and feeling. Now I just wanna go no where.

Why? I thought this is what i've been waiting for? I guess what they say is right. Timing is important. (I guess the guys would say "women are hard to please"?)

Like my pal who's been waiting for something to happen for some time. In fact, she's used to the wait. So much so that she told me if things really happen one day, she wonder what would she do...probably she will reject the idea.

Life is such an irony, isn't it? Life is such a bitch.