:: emptiness ::

Came back from Frankfurt. Bought some real german cheese sausages which i had two yesterday!! It was delicious!!! I did walk around Frankfurt but there ain't much things to look at anyway. Plus..it was so damn HOT that it made us sick. Just wanna get back to the hotel that's all.

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Feeling a bit...empty. Recently, just thinking about whether i should quit my job.
Lots of things in my mind.
*confused*
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Just heard from my ex, Eric, had a 4 month old son now!
I'm happy for him coz that was what he wanted. At least that was what he claimed when we were together last time.
Felt a little weird when he told me this after he started to message me in friendster suddenly...after so long of no contacting...
Hmm...??
*******
Broke the news to my parents. Dad seems a little more receptive while my mum is more like disappointed. Dad seems more understanding and pointed out some of his concerns for my future if i choose to carry on the relationship. I'm glad. But my mum.......... Sigh.

I feel like crying but tears just can't come out.
It takes time i know and i shouldn't be impatient, given the tricky situation.
Me, being me... just wanna be accepted in the family or even the society.
I knows some mindsets are difficult to change. And i would really appreciate it if fellow beings don't judge anyone based on superficial value. After all, who are you to judge? Is your race a more superior race? Is that what you think just because you are the majority here? And i simply don't understand why some people will detest others that does not come from their circle when they don't even know that person. Just coz of the difference in colour? And then they CONVENIENTLY succumb to the stereotype syndrome rather than knowing that person first before making a judgement. Isn't that a little.................shallow? I know there bound to have stereotypes, be is good or bad. But...at least be a little more open or receptive when an opportunity comes along? Why pass a judgement so fast?

He and i know that we need to make an extra mile...do alot more things in order to be accepted, as compared to others. He's very willing and is being very positive. Im so glad and relieved.

I just wish i have a easier time ahead.

I hope i have your blessings.

Sigh.
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Wonderful - By Everclear
Hey, ain't life wonderful? Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful...
Isn't everything wonderful now?"

I close my eyes when I get too sad
I think thoughts that I know are bad
Close my eyes and I count to ten
Hope it's over when I open them

I want the things that I had before
Like a Star Wars poster on my bedroom door
I wish I could count to ten
Make everything be wonderful again

Hope my mom and I hope my dad
Will figure out why they get so mad
Hear them scream, I hear them fight
They say bad words that make me wanna cry

Close my eyes when I go to bed
And I dream of angels who make me smile
I feel better when I hear them say
Everything will be wonderful someday

Promises mean everything when you're little
And the world's so big
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
Tell me everything is wonderful now

Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now

I go to school and I run and play
I tell the kids that it's all okay
I laugh aloud so my friends won't know
When the bell rings I just don't wanna go home

Go to my room and I close my eyes
I make believe that I have a new life
I don't believe you when you say
Everything will be wonderful someday

Promises mean everything when you're little
And the world is so bigI just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
When you tell me everything is wonderful now

NoNo, I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now
NoNo, I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now
I don't wanna hear you say
That I will understand someday
No, no, no, no
I don't wanna hear you say
You both have grown in a different way
No, no, no, no
I don't wanna meet your friends
And I don't wanna start over again
I just want my life to be the same
Just like it used to be
Some days I hate everything
I hate everything
Everyone and everything
Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now...

I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now
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