:: standby ::

I was on standby today and tmr. It was the first time i didn't called up today!
But I was activated for Denpasar turn tmr. In fact, I need to wake up at 5am...later.
Oh well, I will be coming back at 1535... so no complaint.

So today wasn't wasted after all. I studied my Biz class notes (which I'm going be trained soon) and even jote down the important things. In the end, it was pages after pages! Suddenly, I felt like I was back in school. How nice.... If only.... sigh.

My hands feel so tired after all the writings! And i feel like my brain has been over-fed with information.
I am excited to be trained for Business class but at the same time I am apprehensive about that too. The fear of working with the chiefs, the fear of not able to work as fast, the fear of not being equipped with enough product knowledge, just puts me off. It's like starting all over again, just like those times when I began working. Its really.... annoying.

Oh well, I guess its a stage I HAVE to go thru. After all my bond ends in September.

Really hope it will be all smooth sailing. :)

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He came over today to accompany me since I'm stuck at home waiting for any possible activation from my standby.
But... he slept most of the time while I'm studying my notes. He was feeling a bit unwell, having sore throat, cough and all.
I wished he had talk to me more coz it has been while since we last went out, talk and have fun. And recently, when he is out with me, he kept saying he was tired. So our outing didn't last long mainly coz I was put off with his tiredness. Somehow, I realised he was only tired when he's with me????

Although I should be appreciative of his effort of coming down to meet me (even for only half hour) when he was tired, somehow I felt it was not enough. Am i being demanding or taking things for granted?

For the first few times, I was touched when he came all the way down to meet me even when he is tired. But as it become so frequent, I began to think "What's the point"? Simply because, we can't do anything when he is tired. He will be grumpy and give me the vibes that he wanna go home. On some days when I'm free, all I wanted was to spend time with him, which we haven't been doing for quite a while. I would dress up and felt happy that we are finally heading out somewhere. But everytime, within 2 hours or so, he will be complaining he is tired. And what can I say? "Go home lor".
I just feel very disappointed each time.

Is it me or... what? I really don't know.

Well, I am glad he came to accompany me today though he wasn't feeling very well.