:: happily ever-after? ::

Do i still deserve any happily ever after? After breaking his heart? In his words, so cruelly and heartlessly?

I know I'm selfish. But I also know I can't compromise my future.
I know I can try. But I also know I have no more energy.
I know I can be positive. But I also know I can't deceive myself anymore.

Yes, i know some may think i'm heartless. Shouldn't I give another shot especially we've been thru so much through the years?
But just like you all think, i'm heartless.. yes, I dun have the heart to stay anymore.

It is sad to see how this goes down the drain after so long. After having to try to convince everyone around me to accept us.
It was really tough. But I bite thru and finally got what I want...or so I thought. But look! what happens after that? Don't ask me why the things turned out the way it is. I have no clue and no answer for it. It just happen and the most I can do is to deal with it.

It was difficult to come to term with myself that I have to be this cruel. Why did I let it happen this way? Why have I done? Or What have I not done? Am I really this bad? Am I making a mistake? Why am I like that? Am I truely like that? I couldn't believe it but I know I have to be true to myself. Suddenly, I seem to have lose myself as I wander deeper into these thoughts.

It isn't the best ending. But I thought I did what I did for my own best and...indirectly, for his good?
If i see it going no where, isn't it better to take off now than when wedding bells ring?

I am sorry for what I've done and I know I've hurt you badly. It's my bad and I take full responsibilty for it.
You mentioned about karma. I know retribution will fall upon me one day. Even if it means sacrificing my "happily ever-after", i guess I still would have made the same decision.

I wish you the best.
I'm sorry. I truely am.

*************************************************************************

I finally teared when I heard this song in my Ipod. Every word seems to tell me how he felt. And i feel so bad.

张学友
我真的受伤了

窗外阴天了
音乐低声了
我的心开始想你了
灯光也暗了
音乐低声了
口中的棉花糖也融化了
窗外阴天了
人是无聊了
我的心开始想你了
电话响起了
你要说话了
还以为你心里对我又想念了
怎么你声音变得冷淡了
是你变了
是你变了

灯光熄灭了
音乐静止了
滴下的眼泪已停不住了
天下起雨了
人是不快乐
我的心真的受伤了