I met up with Pete just yesterday and he hasn't changed much after all these years. Hmm... Haven't seen him since I entered university, which was probably 5 years ago....?
Nope, he hasn't change much though he claimed he has put on weight but i think its fine! I still remember I used to call him monster pete coz he resembles the monster in monster inc movie...big and cuddly!! I like!!! Haha..such endearing name.
Yes, we updated each other of the happenings the past few years.
Chatting with him yesterday (after being apart for so many years) on a nice breezy saturday afternoon, was really nice. It didn't take us, or rather, me, much time to feel comfortable.
Yes, it does bring back some memories. Some fond memories that I would never forget.
I should not have done what I did last time but ah well... Wisdom comes easily on the hindsight. I guess we did what he thought was best for me. Such selfless guy.
He's really a great guy and I wish him well.
10 December 2007
07 November 2007
:: self worth ::
What is self worth?
Does the environment and external factors dictate self worth or does it come within oneself?
Am i thinking too much into things and had myself fooled?
Or have I indulge myself in self pity too much and I can't get out of it.
Do I actually possess the things I think I have?
Are the people around me whoever I think they are?
Am I losing myself? Am I fading away?
Does the environment and external factors dictate self worth or does it come within oneself?
Am i thinking too much into things and had myself fooled?
Or have I indulge myself in self pity too much and I can't get out of it.
Do I actually possess the things I think I have?
Are the people around me whoever I think they are?
Am I losing myself? Am I fading away?
:: Beautiful Seed ::
"I think that a seed is a wonderful metaphor for our lives. We are all like seeds. Seeds grow unseen in the soil and then sprout, and some seed become the biggest, most majestic trees and others grow to eventually bear wonderful fruit, and yet others, grow to provide shade. We are like trees. When we are in our mother's womb, no one can see us growing, but we are there. And all the potential for our lives is present in that moment, small as we are at that point in our lives, we are who we are now because of what we've gone through. And just knowing that, makes me sad to read about the increasing numbers of abortions that occur. People have forgotten that all the potential for life comes from something small, seemingly insignificant, seemingly lifeless."
~ Corrinne May~
Just bought Corrinne May's latest album "Beautiful Seed" after I heard one of her songs over the radio.
Her lyrics were really beautiful and very meaningful.
Two of my fave songs from the album:
1. Shelter
"Friends support and help each other through difficult times. This song is about friendship.
It is a song to a friend to tell her that I will be here for her through the difficulty she is going through. All she has to do is call me and I will help her in whatever way I can."
Lyrics:
What's wrong, whats getting you down
Is it something I might have said?
You're walking around
with your head to the ground
and your eyes are watery red
I know you've been through tough times
Kicked around, thrown to the ground
but you've always been the strong one
So don't tell me that nobody gets you
'cause I'm standing in your corner
Knocking at your door
You don't have to be alone
Just call my name
Let me be an answer
'cause it hurts me to see you this way
I wanna ease your pain
Help me understand
Let me be your shelter my friend
We share a bond
You and I we belong
We're like coffee and morning trains
You strip my defenses
I catch your pretenses
The same blood runs through our veins
I swore I'd be your lifeline
Made a vow that I'd surround you with love at every milestone
I'll listen when nobody gets you
I'm still standing in your corner
Waiting by your door
You don't have to be alone
Just call my name
Let me be an answer
'cause it hurts me to see you this way
I wanna ease your pain
Help me understand
Let me be your shelter my friend
It was not too long ago
You sought to understand
You helped me mend
Remember when
So promise me you'll
Call my name
Let me be an answer
'cause it hurts me to see you this way
I wanna ease your pain
Help me understand
Let my be your shelter my friend
2. Beautiful Seed
"I think people often forget how the smallest, most seemingly insignificant things can have such beautiful possibilities. All it takes is one person to make a difference in this world. People like Mother Teresa, Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. testify to this fact. But often, we are so afraid to try, to speak up, or to make a difference."
Lyrics:
You can fill the darkness
With just one flash of light
Break the silence with just one word
One definance starts a revolution
One life can save the world
On the steps of Washington
Sprinkled like confetti
Thousands of people sing
"we shall overcome"
The preacher shouts
"Let freedom ring"
He gave his life for what he believed.
You can be a witness
You can be a prophet
You can make the whole world believe
Break the strongest fortress
Change the way the world thinks
You can build a bridge where foes can meet
Hope for the future
Shout it, don't whisper
Dreams are what we make them to be
There is hope in every heartbeat
Tiny as it seems
You're a beautiful seed
She's a pastor daughter
She's only 16
But her heart and her belly
Are breaking at the seams
Her boyfriend blames her
He wants to pay for the doctor to wash it away
As she lays in the hospital
A christmas choir is singing
About a child in a manger
Fragile and small
"Unto us is born a Saviour"
She looks at her baby and cries
As she sings him lullaby
You can be a witness
You can be a prophet
You can make the whole world believe
Break the strongest fortress
Change the way the world thinks
You can build a bridge where foes can meet
Hope for the future
Shout it, don't whisper
Dreams are what we make them to be
There is hope in every heartbeat
Tiny as it seems
You're a beautiful seed
Every hope, every power
Lies in the heart of a seed that flowers
Interwined all across the land
We're all seeds in the maker's hands
:: Amritsar and london::
Yes, that's amritsar....
Sigh... no mood to say anything right now. Duno why and dun ask.
Seems to have things to say, yet no words seem to form.
Yea..so i decided to...just upload photos.
At krumbs' yi-ma's place...somewhere in uk.
hmm.... losing myself?
24 October 2007
:: velviie's wondering... ::
I wonder why would someone says "why is she with someone like this? can't get better meh"? when hers ain't a model too.
Is there a need for such shallow comment?
Is she saying I am stupid or he's not up to it..or both? and besides, since when does physical appearance dictates a person's character/behaviour or how good/bad a person is?
yes, we being human, are and will be attracted to beautiful things. But hey, is that all?
Appearance is what attracts you first but what continues to retain you or hold that interest is what lies beneath that surface. Yes, no?
Think about it.
Is there a need for such shallow comment?
Is she saying I am stupid or he's not up to it..or both? and besides, since when does physical appearance dictates a person's character/behaviour or how good/bad a person is?
yes, we being human, are and will be attracted to beautiful things. But hey, is that all?
Appearance is what attracts you first but what continues to retain you or hold that interest is what lies beneath that surface. Yes, no?
Think about it.
10 October 2007
:: Nostalgia ::
It was girls' night out yest. Nope, we didn't go partying and all... just a mini girl's gathering at G's house (though the owner of the house is a guy and he just went overseas for work so we borrowed his place, heehee). The girls had cooked and eaten their dinner when I went over later after my flight. I made them cooked instant noodles for me as I made my way there.
And tah dah!! My dinner was ready the moment I reached and they served me like a lil princess. Wahahaha~ ooooh i like....!!
Oh and we had glutinous rice ball soup for dessert....it was lovely!
After the ra-ra, we sat down and have a chat and updated one another with the recent happenings. Several topics came up, such as, how are Y and K coping with their LDR (Long Distance Relationship), how is YW doing with her new job and her life after the break-up, and of coz amongst all these, there are the typical questions that I would bombard Y. "How was the first kiss?", "Under what circumstances", "How did it happen?", "what else did he do..?" hahaha...well, it didn't help when she was shy about it. I have to do the digging right? Heh.
As we chat further, I was reminded of the past. How the past events has shaped me and how certain people have made me who I am today. I would never forget E for he was my first love and though we did had many unhappy arguments after we broke up, we shared many many fond memories. He was the first one who made me feel so loved and showed me what love is. And it was these lovely memories during the times when we were together that strives me to find someone who can make me feel the same way again.
But he is also the same person who brought me down to the darkest days of my life. He slapped me and yes though I feel angry but what I learned from there is I would never ever ever let another guy treat me that way again. I comtemplated suicide. Never EVER before did I think I would be so stupid. I don't know why but that thought just came to me. I tried to but I stopped myself in time. And when he knew about it, he merely laughed and said the most hurtful words I ever heard "Hahaha, why didn't u cut deeper? hahahaha..pls lah I know you don't dare to do it." From that moment on, I woke up and realised how fucking silly I was. I WILL NEVER do that again.
I often wonder how someone can be such a sweet angel when we were together and yet a devil when it was over.
You may think it would be easy to get over this kind of person. It took me a long time. 2 years...maybe? It was a struggle inside me. One part of me missed him like crazy and wished we could be like before. I would go back to the places where we used to hang out. I would go back to the place where we first got together and sat there, just thinking of him and crying alone. However, the other part of me kept reminding myself how he had changed. Sometimes I would succumb to that part of me and I would smsed him and chat with him in msn. But what did I get in return? Another round of hurt and pain.
I dodged him when I was in uni. I was careful of where I was going and always keep a lookout for him. I don't know how many times had I hide behind a pillar until he was gone. I just didn't know how to face him like a normal person and I didn't want to allow myself to get into that deep shit again. Finally, I freed myself after a long while. He made me realised how love can be sweet and yet painful.
W reminds me of the guilt trip I went thru and I would never like to experience again.
P reminds me how selfless can one be. He let me know what unconditional love is. He is the living proof of the statement "If you really love a person, you would let her go and be somewhere she can be happy, with no questions asked." I don't know if I can be that selfless but would certainly try to be one.
I did not know how stubborn and persistant I was till I know A. Everyone around me advised me to let go but I held on for the longest time. I realised I can really give my 100% or even 101% for someone and would try and try until I ran out of breath, until all my energy has been drained, until I can't see any more hope.
He taught me not to be prejudiced and keep an open mind when dealing with people other than my own race.
He made me realised how many of us have misconceptions of our fellow people from other races, how wrong we are in passing our judgement on them, how wrong we are in our perception of them. I learned to be more sensitive towards this and not to be judgemental. After all, we are all the same, we are human. Isn't embracing the diversities we have more beautiful?
My good fren, C, since poly days, keeps my irrationality in check. I am such a irrational freak and she would be there to ensure I don't do anything stupid and offer me her most honest opinion. I appreciate the honesty and I cherish this friendship. We been thru the ups and downs of each other's life. I can be myself and be absolutely myself when with her. I could show my bad sides and she would take it. This friend is definitely one to keep.
I learned that that's what a true friend should be. That I can be myself, be it the good or bad sides, and she/her would be able to accept it. Kinda like boyfriend lah but of the same gender. Rather than always just show the good side of you..just so that ur friends would not have a bad impression of you. If that's the case, is it the true you that you are displaying? Or just the pretentious you? A true friend would stand by your side no matter what...i think. Even she made a bad decision after how much you have advised her against it, you would still be there to cushion her fall should she fail.
Of course I don't mean I can always throw my temper around and all and expect the other to accept. I will just be the real me with nothing to hide.
My sec sch good fren, C. She reminds me of me. Hahaha. You see, we are similar in many ways, in terms of thinkings, taste, etc. I enjoyed the times when we had fun and shared many activities together. They helped to pull myself together after E. i would say Girl Power!
Yes, I admit I did have times when I don't agree with what they had said and done. I had times when I am torn between hanging out with them or doing my school work and projects. Those were the times when I had hoped for some understanding from them. I realised it could probably be my fault too coz I didn't let them know, instead, I drifted apart and slowly, we changed and friendship faded i guess. Yes, I did fail as their friend coz I should have been honest with them. If I'm unhappy, I should have told them instead of keeping quiet about it and let myself drifted apart. But what and how should I say if I dun agree with them?
My childhood buddy, Y. She seems to know inside me out even though we seldom meet but we do keep each other updated. She reads my blog and i think she's the only one...and hey, get yourself a blog leh so i can be updated too!!! heh heh. She's the other friend who would stood by me even when I fall. I think we should meet up more often. Aarrgh, this is the part when I hate my job. Irregular timing.
Certain events made me who I am too. The Yep trip to Cambodia made me realised how fortunate we are. The innocent kids... all they wanted is to grow up quickly so that they can support their family. They cherish education and really have the desire to learn and be a useful person. Unlike in our society, children study coz they want to win their pals. The fund-raising for the trip had also let me know how kind some people's heart are. A not-so-close friend of mine approached me and expressed his interest in buying the t-shirts and notebooks when I put the sale as my subnick in the msn messenger. I was surprised coz I didn't approach him at all since I don' know him that well. I was touched by his kindness.
On the other hand, I was disappointed with some of my friends' awful remarks at that time. I do not like to force people to do things they don't like, especially this kinda charity thing. Its their own free will. I merely brought the fund-raising thing across and its really up to individual if you want to support or not. I certainly did not expect any criticism from them. They can choose not to buy or support and I wouldn't be unhappy at all, but I don't think it is nice to make those unneccessary remarks, especially coming from my own friends. I was truely hurt by those words.
Doing charity is really not easy and I would love to do my bits for the society in time to come, especially in the 3rd world countries. I'm more geared towards helping those poor kids...i would love to adopt children if i can and make a difference in their lives.
I guess I have written quite a fair bit on the recent passings of my grandad and grandma. One of my colleague's dad just passed away and whatever she was feeling, the emotions and thoughts... reminded me of what happened in the recent past and I felt the pain all over again. Up till now, I would never forget the pain of losing someone you love dearly. I would never allow myself to forget the pain, just so I would be reminded of how selfish I had been, how I missed the many chances of visiting them when I could. I would never forgive myself. And this would be the regret I have to live with for the rest of my life....
I learned to cherish and care for my family more. I just want to be around more often. I don't want to have another such regret.
And tah dah!! My dinner was ready the moment I reached and they served me like a lil princess. Wahahaha~ ooooh i like....!!
Oh and we had glutinous rice ball soup for dessert....it was lovely!
After the ra-ra, we sat down and have a chat and updated one another with the recent happenings. Several topics came up, such as, how are Y and K coping with their LDR (Long Distance Relationship), how is YW doing with her new job and her life after the break-up, and of coz amongst all these, there are the typical questions that I would bombard Y. "How was the first kiss?", "Under what circumstances", "How did it happen?", "what else did he do..?" hahaha...well, it didn't help when she was shy about it. I have to do the digging right? Heh.
As we chat further, I was reminded of the past. How the past events has shaped me and how certain people have made me who I am today. I would never forget E for he was my first love and though we did had many unhappy arguments after we broke up, we shared many many fond memories. He was the first one who made me feel so loved and showed me what love is. And it was these lovely memories during the times when we were together that strives me to find someone who can make me feel the same way again.
But he is also the same person who brought me down to the darkest days of my life. He slapped me and yes though I feel angry but what I learned from there is I would never ever ever let another guy treat me that way again. I comtemplated suicide. Never EVER before did I think I would be so stupid. I don't know why but that thought just came to me. I tried to but I stopped myself in time. And when he knew about it, he merely laughed and said the most hurtful words I ever heard "Hahaha, why didn't u cut deeper? hahahaha..pls lah I know you don't dare to do it." From that moment on, I woke up and realised how fucking silly I was. I WILL NEVER do that again.
I often wonder how someone can be such a sweet angel when we were together and yet a devil when it was over.
You may think it would be easy to get over this kind of person. It took me a long time. 2 years...maybe? It was a struggle inside me. One part of me missed him like crazy and wished we could be like before. I would go back to the places where we used to hang out. I would go back to the place where we first got together and sat there, just thinking of him and crying alone. However, the other part of me kept reminding myself how he had changed. Sometimes I would succumb to that part of me and I would smsed him and chat with him in msn. But what did I get in return? Another round of hurt and pain.
I dodged him when I was in uni. I was careful of where I was going and always keep a lookout for him. I don't know how many times had I hide behind a pillar until he was gone. I just didn't know how to face him like a normal person and I didn't want to allow myself to get into that deep shit again. Finally, I freed myself after a long while. He made me realised how love can be sweet and yet painful.
W reminds me of the guilt trip I went thru and I would never like to experience again.
P reminds me how selfless can one be. He let me know what unconditional love is. He is the living proof of the statement "If you really love a person, you would let her go and be somewhere she can be happy, with no questions asked." I don't know if I can be that selfless but would certainly try to be one.
I did not know how stubborn and persistant I was till I know A. Everyone around me advised me to let go but I held on for the longest time. I realised I can really give my 100% or even 101% for someone and would try and try until I ran out of breath, until all my energy has been drained, until I can't see any more hope.
He taught me not to be prejudiced and keep an open mind when dealing with people other than my own race.
He made me realised how many of us have misconceptions of our fellow people from other races, how wrong we are in passing our judgement on them, how wrong we are in our perception of them. I learned to be more sensitive towards this and not to be judgemental. After all, we are all the same, we are human. Isn't embracing the diversities we have more beautiful?
My good fren, C, since poly days, keeps my irrationality in check. I am such a irrational freak and she would be there to ensure I don't do anything stupid and offer me her most honest opinion. I appreciate the honesty and I cherish this friendship. We been thru the ups and downs of each other's life. I can be myself and be absolutely myself when with her. I could show my bad sides and she would take it. This friend is definitely one to keep.
I learned that that's what a true friend should be. That I can be myself, be it the good or bad sides, and she/her would be able to accept it. Kinda like boyfriend lah but of the same gender. Rather than always just show the good side of you..just so that ur friends would not have a bad impression of you. If that's the case, is it the true you that you are displaying? Or just the pretentious you? A true friend would stand by your side no matter what...i think. Even she made a bad decision after how much you have advised her against it, you would still be there to cushion her fall should she fail.
Of course I don't mean I can always throw my temper around and all and expect the other to accept. I will just be the real me with nothing to hide.
My sec sch good fren, C. She reminds me of me. Hahaha. You see, we are similar in many ways, in terms of thinkings, taste, etc. I enjoyed the times when we had fun and shared many activities together. They helped to pull myself together after E. i would say Girl Power!
Yes, I admit I did have times when I don't agree with what they had said and done. I had times when I am torn between hanging out with them or doing my school work and projects. Those were the times when I had hoped for some understanding from them. I realised it could probably be my fault too coz I didn't let them know, instead, I drifted apart and slowly, we changed and friendship faded i guess. Yes, I did fail as their friend coz I should have been honest with them. If I'm unhappy, I should have told them instead of keeping quiet about it and let myself drifted apart. But what and how should I say if I dun agree with them?
My childhood buddy, Y. She seems to know inside me out even though we seldom meet but we do keep each other updated. She reads my blog and i think she's the only one...and hey, get yourself a blog leh so i can be updated too!!! heh heh. She's the other friend who would stood by me even when I fall. I think we should meet up more often. Aarrgh, this is the part when I hate my job. Irregular timing.
Certain events made me who I am too. The Yep trip to Cambodia made me realised how fortunate we are. The innocent kids... all they wanted is to grow up quickly so that they can support their family. They cherish education and really have the desire to learn and be a useful person. Unlike in our society, children study coz they want to win their pals. The fund-raising for the trip had also let me know how kind some people's heart are. A not-so-close friend of mine approached me and expressed his interest in buying the t-shirts and notebooks when I put the sale as my subnick in the msn messenger. I was surprised coz I didn't approach him at all since I don' know him that well. I was touched by his kindness.
On the other hand, I was disappointed with some of my friends' awful remarks at that time. I do not like to force people to do things they don't like, especially this kinda charity thing. Its their own free will. I merely brought the fund-raising thing across and its really up to individual if you want to support or not. I certainly did not expect any criticism from them. They can choose not to buy or support and I wouldn't be unhappy at all, but I don't think it is nice to make those unneccessary remarks, especially coming from my own friends. I was truely hurt by those words.
Doing charity is really not easy and I would love to do my bits for the society in time to come, especially in the 3rd world countries. I'm more geared towards helping those poor kids...i would love to adopt children if i can and make a difference in their lives.
I guess I have written quite a fair bit on the recent passings of my grandad and grandma. One of my colleague's dad just passed away and whatever she was feeling, the emotions and thoughts... reminded me of what happened in the recent past and I felt the pain all over again. Up till now, I would never forget the pain of losing someone you love dearly. I would never allow myself to forget the pain, just so I would be reminded of how selfish I had been, how I missed the many chances of visiting them when I could. I would never forgive myself. And this would be the regret I have to live with for the rest of my life....
I learned to cherish and care for my family more. I just want to be around more often. I don't want to have another such regret.
29 September 2007
:: Bored Stiff ::
I'm bored in Abu Dhabi and I would be here till next thursday. *yawnz* Its a good time to catch up with my sleep though.
And perhaps practise my SEP quizes which I would be tested soon. But still...there're still lotsa time left!! Thank god there is WOW. heh heh.
Recently, it seems that there are a few of my friends leaving Singapore.
Well, Krumbs went back to London...and yea, I miss him!
Daniel, be good in Frankfurt yea... Have fun in your new job and take care! I'll visit you if I can!
Peter went back to taipei for work...
Kenji heading back to Japan... Yvonne, hang in there!
hmm... I'm looking forward to staying in London next year. But...would there be anything there for me to do?
And perhaps practise my SEP quizes which I would be tested soon. But still...there're still lotsa time left!! Thank god there is WOW. heh heh.
Recently, it seems that there are a few of my friends leaving Singapore.
Well, Krumbs went back to London...and yea, I miss him!
Daniel, be good in Frankfurt yea... Have fun in your new job and take care! I'll visit you if I can!
Peter went back to taipei for work...
Kenji heading back to Japan... Yvonne, hang in there!
hmm... I'm looking forward to staying in London next year. But...would there be anything there for me to do?
17 September 2007
:: missing a part of me ::
So I'm back in Singapoe alone now... after sending krumbs back to London.
It is only the first day and it feels weird. Feeling empty perhaps? Oh well, i guess it will be better as the days pass.
It was a good trip to london. At first, I thought the IFS would be a nasty one coz he was kinda listed as one of the top ten. I was almost contemplating not to do the london flight becasue of that. However, I decided to stay on coz I really wanna see krumbs back to London. Well, it turned out exactly the opposite! He was actually nice.. (well though he's a bit sticky on certain things but hey, i could say he's okay!) The flights up and back weren't easy though... lotsa orders and demanding people...but its worth it.
Was extremely tired after I touched down in london, had a bbq dinner with his family at his place and then I dozed off. Hmm..actually I can't exactly remember what else happened on that day coz I was walking like a zombie...
Oh oh but i do remember that his mum prepared my pyjamas, bath robe, towel and a teddy bear by his bed. So nice!!
Well, she even stock up krumbs' little fridge in his room.
Sent his mum to work the next day and along the way, we went into the Build-A-Bear store. The three of us were busy selecting the clothing for the bear which he insisted in getting. (It's bloody exp for a teddy bear!?!?) While the attendant was stuffing the bear with cotton, his mum suggested to put 2 hearts inside the bear..oh ya, and gotta make a wish first..blah blah. Hahahaha...i feel so silly. And then u know... the bear has got a name, a birth cert and even a passport which can be stamped at the immigration. And yea so Krumbsiie is born. Oh...we can't decide its gender..so tentatively its unisex. HAHAHHAHA
Drove down to central london together with Ivan for the famous Duck rice. hmm... the duck is nice but I wouldn't go back again for it simply coz its expensive when I can get it in Singapore tons cheaper and easier.
There were road diversions here and there and it took us about 2 hours to get back home (normally it would take abt an hour?). Relying on the GPS TomTom doesn't help, honey!
The next day, he sent me back to the hotel and we're just waiting for the time to say goodbye.
It was a lil difficult trying to fight back my tears, but what made it easy was that my makeup was already on. And yea, i tried to hang myself upside down by the bed so that the tears won't flow down. hahaha.
Whatever need to be said have been said. What reassurance we need have been said. I was just... sitting there, looking at him quietly, hoping time will fly pass quickly before I could see him again. And then I went on to imagine how would it be like without him in Singapore. The thought of not having him by my side, made me even sadder and I quickly abandoned that thought. I don't even wanna think about it.
************
Well, now.. at least I have lotsa free time now. Heh Heh..
Sorry my dear friends, pardon me for not spending enough time with u guys lately as we were just trying to maximise the time we had in Singapore and I asked for your understanding.
It is only the first day and it feels weird. Feeling empty perhaps? Oh well, i guess it will be better as the days pass.
It was a good trip to london. At first, I thought the IFS would be a nasty one coz he was kinda listed as one of the top ten. I was almost contemplating not to do the london flight becasue of that. However, I decided to stay on coz I really wanna see krumbs back to London. Well, it turned out exactly the opposite! He was actually nice.. (well though he's a bit sticky on certain things but hey, i could say he's okay!) The flights up and back weren't easy though... lotsa orders and demanding people...but its worth it.
Was extremely tired after I touched down in london, had a bbq dinner with his family at his place and then I dozed off. Hmm..actually I can't exactly remember what else happened on that day coz I was walking like a zombie...
Oh oh but i do remember that his mum prepared my pyjamas, bath robe, towel and a teddy bear by his bed. So nice!!
Well, she even stock up krumbs' little fridge in his room.
Sent his mum to work the next day and along the way, we went into the Build-A-Bear store. The three of us were busy selecting the clothing for the bear which he insisted in getting. (It's bloody exp for a teddy bear!?!?) While the attendant was stuffing the bear with cotton, his mum suggested to put 2 hearts inside the bear..oh ya, and gotta make a wish first..blah blah. Hahahaha...i feel so silly. And then u know... the bear has got a name, a birth cert and even a passport which can be stamped at the immigration. And yea so Krumbsiie is born. Oh...we can't decide its gender..so tentatively its unisex. HAHAHHAHA
Drove down to central london together with Ivan for the famous Duck rice. hmm... the duck is nice but I wouldn't go back again for it simply coz its expensive when I can get it in Singapore tons cheaper and easier.
There were road diversions here and there and it took us about 2 hours to get back home (normally it would take abt an hour?). Relying on the GPS TomTom doesn't help, honey!
The next day, he sent me back to the hotel and we're just waiting for the time to say goodbye.
It was a lil difficult trying to fight back my tears, but what made it easy was that my makeup was already on. And yea, i tried to hang myself upside down by the bed so that the tears won't flow down. hahaha.
Whatever need to be said have been said. What reassurance we need have been said. I was just... sitting there, looking at him quietly, hoping time will fly pass quickly before I could see him again. And then I went on to imagine how would it be like without him in Singapore. The thought of not having him by my side, made me even sadder and I quickly abandoned that thought. I don't even wanna think about it.
************
Well, now.. at least I have lotsa free time now. Heh Heh..
Sorry my dear friends, pardon me for not spending enough time with u guys lately as we were just trying to maximise the time we had in Singapore and I asked for your understanding.
08 September 2007
:: WOW ::
I blamed krumbs for my recent addiction to WOW (War of Warcraft).
But it was a nice addiction. HEH. Time flies quickly while you are at it. HA~
I even dreamt of it one night. Dreamt of my character killing creatures and levelling. haha! Nice~
****************************
Krumbs gonna head back to london next week. Hmm... having mix feeling about it.
I think I'm sure gonna feel the void while he's gone but this also means we're a step nearer to our aim. Now, that's some kind of consolation. HEH.
I'm pretty sure we're going to do just fine... as long as I've an europe flight each month? I'll try to change to london if possible or he'll come down to the europe stations where I'm at.
Sigh. From almost seeing each other everyday to possibly meeting up only once a month, it does seems like a huge deal.
But yea, we'll pull through it. We're definitely not a big fan of long-distance relationship.
I'll be on the same flight with him as he heads back next week. Feeling a bit excited about going back to his place...well, you know, different status now. heehee.
Oh, kinda feeling scared about what his mum gonna speak "seriously" to us about. Not that his mum is fierce or what. On the contrary, his mum is really open-minded and extremely friendly. I haven't really met her yet but we've been on the phone a few times...She's a supercool mum! Oh ya, and she has been seriously proposing to krumbs about buying a flat once he gets his arse back to SG next year.
Some funny conversations between them goes like this:
his mum: hey son, ask Val to quit her job and come over london with you.
krumbs: yes mum, we have been discussing about this issue...she need to work out the finance and stuff...
his mum: ask her not to worry. She's got a roof over her head, food on the table, car to drive, money to spend.....
krumbs: hmm... car?
his mum: ya...drive your car lor!
krumbs: money?
his mum: aiyah... u go and work lor!
---
his mum: So is Val coming over? Ask her to come stay for 2 years lah!
krumbs: what? no mum...
his mum: ok ok...1 year?
krumbs: no mum! 6 months!
his mum: ok ok..
---
his mum: hey, u guys very free right? Go HDB and look for flats lah.
krumbs: huh? mum!?!?! erm... where's the money?
his mum: I'll pay for the deposit lor!
----
his mum: hey son, if you are serious about each other, I think we should talk about buying a flat seriously. Why dun you and val disucss about it seriously?
krumbs: Okay mum...
his mum: dun worry about the money. I'll pay. We'll talk about this seriously when u two come back next week.
---
***********************************
While I'm still not sure if I should go ahead with the plan of going over london for 6 months, but I'm definitely gonna resign.
I guess its about time to leave the company or else you'll be stuck in it.
Yes, i may not feel confident about looking for a ground job but at the same time, I feel i should get out of that comfort zone.
There are thousands and one questions one asks me why would I want to resign when the job seems good... but I have thousands and one replies to that. Its just a matter of personal preference i guess. I dun think its a bad job.. perhaps its just not my cup of tea. After all, I knew I wouldn't stay for long.
Well, future seems to be a lil uncertain for now. Just gonna take each step at a time.
But it was a nice addiction. HEH. Time flies quickly while you are at it. HA~
I even dreamt of it one night. Dreamt of my character killing creatures and levelling. haha! Nice~
****************************
Krumbs gonna head back to london next week. Hmm... having mix feeling about it.
I think I'm sure gonna feel the void while he's gone but this also means we're a step nearer to our aim. Now, that's some kind of consolation. HEH.
I'm pretty sure we're going to do just fine... as long as I've an europe flight each month? I'll try to change to london if possible or he'll come down to the europe stations where I'm at.
Sigh. From almost seeing each other everyday to possibly meeting up only once a month, it does seems like a huge deal.
But yea, we'll pull through it. We're definitely not a big fan of long-distance relationship.
I'll be on the same flight with him as he heads back next week. Feeling a bit excited about going back to his place...well, you know, different status now. heehee.
Oh, kinda feeling scared about what his mum gonna speak "seriously" to us about. Not that his mum is fierce or what. On the contrary, his mum is really open-minded and extremely friendly. I haven't really met her yet but we've been on the phone a few times...She's a supercool mum! Oh ya, and she has been seriously proposing to krumbs about buying a flat once he gets his arse back to SG next year.
Some funny conversations between them goes like this:
his mum: hey son, ask Val to quit her job and come over london with you.
krumbs: yes mum, we have been discussing about this issue...she need to work out the finance and stuff...
his mum: ask her not to worry. She's got a roof over her head, food on the table, car to drive, money to spend.....
krumbs: hmm... car?
his mum: ya...drive your car lor!
krumbs: money?
his mum: aiyah... u go and work lor!
---
his mum: So is Val coming over? Ask her to come stay for 2 years lah!
krumbs: what? no mum...
his mum: ok ok...1 year?
krumbs: no mum! 6 months!
his mum: ok ok..
---
his mum: hey, u guys very free right? Go HDB and look for flats lah.
krumbs: huh? mum!?!?! erm... where's the money?
his mum: I'll pay for the deposit lor!
----
his mum: hey son, if you are serious about each other, I think we should talk about buying a flat seriously. Why dun you and val disucss about it seriously?
krumbs: Okay mum...
his mum: dun worry about the money. I'll pay. We'll talk about this seriously when u two come back next week.
---
***********************************
While I'm still not sure if I should go ahead with the plan of going over london for 6 months, but I'm definitely gonna resign.
I guess its about time to leave the company or else you'll be stuck in it.
Yes, i may not feel confident about looking for a ground job but at the same time, I feel i should get out of that comfort zone.
There are thousands and one questions one asks me why would I want to resign when the job seems good... but I have thousands and one replies to that. Its just a matter of personal preference i guess. I dun think its a bad job.. perhaps its just not my cup of tea. After all, I knew I wouldn't stay for long.
Well, future seems to be a lil uncertain for now. Just gonna take each step at a time.
01 September 2007
:: krumbs birthday ::
On his birthday early this month (ooh, i love the fact that he's a Leo), I brought him to Oosh at dempsey for dinner.
It was our first time there and we fell in love with that place at first sight.
Nice dinner...nice ambience and space for chilling out. We were a lil skeptical about the chillout area as we moved over because it seemed to be "mosquito-friendly". Well, it turned out no mozzies at all! We had phobia of mozzies recently, especially after getting more than 20 over jumbo bites from the commando mozzies in Sabah.
He thought that would be the end of the night but I surprised him by telling the cab driver somewhere else.
And then i blindfolded him and led him to the place. Gave him the birthday cake right at 12am sharp as he opened his eyes. He couldn't stopped smiling. :)
I'm glad he enjoyed it. All the planning and rushing, especially I was doing flight in between, was worth it.
It was our first time there and we fell in love with that place at first sight.
Nice dinner...nice ambience and space for chilling out. We were a lil skeptical about the chillout area as we moved over because it seemed to be "mosquito-friendly". Well, it turned out no mozzies at all! We had phobia of mozzies recently, especially after getting more than 20 over jumbo bites from the commando mozzies in Sabah.
He thought that would be the end of the night but I surprised him by telling the cab driver somewhere else.
And then i blindfolded him and led him to the place. Gave him the birthday cake right at 12am sharp as he opened his eyes. He couldn't stopped smiling. :)
I'm glad he enjoyed it. All the planning and rushing, especially I was doing flight in between, was worth it.
28 August 2007
:: Sabah Sabah! ::
Hello peeps!
I have really been busy and couldn't write as often as I wanted to. (ps to krumbs: i really wonder why?)
We went sabah recently (errr...in July actually), met isaac and had such great fun. The company was great, the diving was...an eye-opener (and considering I was almost drowned) and the river rafting was one hell of an adrenaline rush.
Yes, I was almost drowned. Well, it was just me being panic and all. Haha.. I wanted to quit but the instructor persuaded me to stay on and krumbs assured me he'll be just be right next to me.
In the end, I plucked up enough courage to stay on and did all the required skills safely. Of course, if it wasn't for krumbs, who always made sure he was within my sight, I wouldn't have succeeded. I had trouble with my buoyancy control a few times and was floating a bit higher than the rest. I was afraid to lose sight of the rest and krumbs and everytime I tried to look around me, his hands would reach out to me and gave me the assurance that I needed.
I remembered there was once as we dived into deeper depth, I forgot to release more air in my BCD, hence, I floated and floated and found myself going higher and higher than everyone else. I tried to release more air but somehow i just couldn't get myself down. Then, I kinda saw myself drifted away from the rest of the group. As I slowly lose sight of them, I resigned to my fate. I was a lil scared as I didn't where I was and where would the rest be and dunno if they realised I'm lost. All I knew was, I was heading to the surface involuntarily. Then, all of the sudden, I saw krumbs swimming towards me. I was totally relieved! I realised he was watching over me all this while. (and yes, the running joke was that... knowing how corals take thousands of years to form, he couldn't help feeling sad as he watched me and my fins flapping onto them. Oops! But hey! not that I purposely did that! O_o" )
And so with that, we had our basic diving license! I'm proud of that coz... I was afraid of fishes and was apprehensive if I should go ahead with it, this is especially so after the "nearly-drowned" incident. But I told myself I must overcome that phobia. Oh, my instructor, Nevelle also played a part in assuring me and guaranteeing me that I would come to no harm. He's really sweet too. So.. yeh, I'm a certified SSI diver!!
We did white river rafting together too... though I felt that I was just soaked in a huge tub of Ice milo. It was fun!
I had a great short vacation trip and I really didn't feel like coming home just yet. Oh well, isn't it all the same feeling when one went on a vacation?? Okay, I shall be contented. In fact, I am more than happy. Happy that we did lotsa activities together. Happy that we could actually had such great fun together. Happy that we found out a lot more about each other and could still be happy! Happy that we survived the 9 days together (why i say that? well coz apparently, both of us had some reservations as to whether we could stand each other's good/bad habits throughout the 9 days away from home and in close proximity. And it turned out good!)
"Such a relationship-building trip!" - krumbs.
Collages of photos are below.
I have really been busy and couldn't write as often as I wanted to. (ps to krumbs: i really wonder why?)
We went sabah recently (errr...in July actually), met isaac and had such great fun. The company was great, the diving was...an eye-opener (and considering I was almost drowned) and the river rafting was one hell of an adrenaline rush.
Yes, I was almost drowned. Well, it was just me being panic and all. Haha.. I wanted to quit but the instructor persuaded me to stay on and krumbs assured me he'll be just be right next to me.
In the end, I plucked up enough courage to stay on and did all the required skills safely. Of course, if it wasn't for krumbs, who always made sure he was within my sight, I wouldn't have succeeded. I had trouble with my buoyancy control a few times and was floating a bit higher than the rest. I was afraid to lose sight of the rest and krumbs and everytime I tried to look around me, his hands would reach out to me and gave me the assurance that I needed.
I remembered there was once as we dived into deeper depth, I forgot to release more air in my BCD, hence, I floated and floated and found myself going higher and higher than everyone else. I tried to release more air but somehow i just couldn't get myself down. Then, I kinda saw myself drifted away from the rest of the group. As I slowly lose sight of them, I resigned to my fate. I was a lil scared as I didn't where I was and where would the rest be and dunno if they realised I'm lost. All I knew was, I was heading to the surface involuntarily. Then, all of the sudden, I saw krumbs swimming towards me. I was totally relieved! I realised he was watching over me all this while. (and yes, the running joke was that... knowing how corals take thousands of years to form, he couldn't help feeling sad as he watched me and my fins flapping onto them. Oops! But hey! not that I purposely did that! O_o" )
And so with that, we had our basic diving license! I'm proud of that coz... I was afraid of fishes and was apprehensive if I should go ahead with it, this is especially so after the "nearly-drowned" incident. But I told myself I must overcome that phobia. Oh, my instructor, Nevelle also played a part in assuring me and guaranteeing me that I would come to no harm. He's really sweet too. So.. yeh, I'm a certified SSI diver!!
We did white river rafting together too... though I felt that I was just soaked in a huge tub of Ice milo. It was fun!
I had a great short vacation trip and I really didn't feel like coming home just yet. Oh well, isn't it all the same feeling when one went on a vacation?? Okay, I shall be contented. In fact, I am more than happy. Happy that we did lotsa activities together. Happy that we could actually had such great fun together. Happy that we found out a lot more about each other and could still be happy! Happy that we survived the 9 days together (why i say that? well coz apparently, both of us had some reservations as to whether we could stand each other's good/bad habits throughout the 9 days away from home and in close proximity. And it turned out good!)
"Such a relationship-building trip!" - krumbs.
Collages of photos are below.
20 July 2007
:: A clarification ::
This is very frustrating. I'm gonna say this again and I intend to make it permanent.
Your calculation is simply wrong. Besides, I didn't go away for 2 weeks.
I may not see him every day but I see him every day when I'm around in SG.
And its a fact that he only advanced when we split.
That's how feelings developed, if you haven't realised.
I DID NOT like some other guys and decided not to break up with you coz the other wasn't interested. You make me seem so cheap like I have to hold on to you like a saftey net.
This is simply bullshit and i think its the work of your own freaking haywired mind.
I may have find some guys cute but that is just that. Isn't this NORMAL?
And MIND YOU, i did not go any further coz I KNOW I WAS ATTACHED.
Please, will you wake up and remember something? Way before, I have already mentioned to you about breaking up. The problem is simply between US. About YOU and I not being able to FIT. About YOU not being able to provide me with some thing which I wanted in a significant other. About having a different religion. It is more apparent now and it affected me because of what happened to my grandma. With all these considerations, I did honestly tell you my concerns. It is not because I fell for another guy then I am thinking of splitting! My issue with you already started way before that.
I held on times after times coz you didn't want to let go. I tried to convince myself to stay and try too and I DID TRY. I was hoping things would change or I might change. BUT HELL NO. It didn't. I wasn't holding on to you coz there wasn't some one else. LIKE HOW I TOLD EVERY ONE ELSE, I'D RATHER BE OLD AND SINGLE AND DIE ALONE THAN TO MARRY A WRONG ONE. I realised, with all the concerns which I have mentioned to you before, you wasn't the one that I wanna spend my life time with.
One last time, the reason why I wanted a breakup is simply due to the issues between us. Its YOU.
DO NOT conveniently push to something else.
I may have like some one else after that. Excuse me, is that wrong?
Besides, telling me you want to destroy my LV the same way I tore your heart, is so ridiculous. I lend it to your MUM out of good will. I may have hurt you but I DID NOT BETRAY YOUR TRUST. So your comment on destroying MY LV coz I broke your trust simply does not apply.
I maintain. I DID NOT BETRAY YOUR TRUST.
Your calculation is simply wrong. Besides, I didn't go away for 2 weeks.
I may not see him every day but I see him every day when I'm around in SG.
And its a fact that he only advanced when we split.
That's how feelings developed, if you haven't realised.
I DID NOT like some other guys and decided not to break up with you coz the other wasn't interested. You make me seem so cheap like I have to hold on to you like a saftey net.
This is simply bullshit and i think its the work of your own freaking haywired mind.
I may have find some guys cute but that is just that. Isn't this NORMAL?
And MIND YOU, i did not go any further coz I KNOW I WAS ATTACHED.
Please, will you wake up and remember something? Way before, I have already mentioned to you about breaking up. The problem is simply between US. About YOU and I not being able to FIT. About YOU not being able to provide me with some thing which I wanted in a significant other. About having a different religion. It is more apparent now and it affected me because of what happened to my grandma. With all these considerations, I did honestly tell you my concerns. It is not because I fell for another guy then I am thinking of splitting! My issue with you already started way before that.
I held on times after times coz you didn't want to let go. I tried to convince myself to stay and try too and I DID TRY. I was hoping things would change or I might change. BUT HELL NO. It didn't. I wasn't holding on to you coz there wasn't some one else. LIKE HOW I TOLD EVERY ONE ELSE, I'D RATHER BE OLD AND SINGLE AND DIE ALONE THAN TO MARRY A WRONG ONE. I realised, with all the concerns which I have mentioned to you before, you wasn't the one that I wanna spend my life time with.
One last time, the reason why I wanted a breakup is simply due to the issues between us. Its YOU.
DO NOT conveniently push to something else.
I may have like some one else after that. Excuse me, is that wrong?
Besides, telling me you want to destroy my LV the same way I tore your heart, is so ridiculous. I lend it to your MUM out of good will. I may have hurt you but I DID NOT BETRAY YOUR TRUST. So your comment on destroying MY LV coz I broke your trust simply does not apply.
I maintain. I DID NOT BETRAY YOUR TRUST.
19 July 2007
:: hates being accused ::
One thing I hate most? To be accused of something I did not do.
Just don't understand, why having being so honest, he still does not believe me.
The fact is right there and yet he has to twist it and interpret it his way, just to make it easier for himself to believe/blame.
Perhaps that made him feel better.
I had been completely honest and dun see the reason to lie.
Everyone knows.
I guess as long as my conscience is clear, that is what it matters.
Is it not my right to have my stuff back especially when i bought it with my own money? I can't even bear to use it myself.
Swearing and cursing doesn't make things better as well.
Sigh.
Just don't understand, why having being so honest, he still does not believe me.
The fact is right there and yet he has to twist it and interpret it his way, just to make it easier for himself to believe/blame.
Perhaps that made him feel better.
I had been completely honest and dun see the reason to lie.
Everyone knows.
I guess as long as my conscience is clear, that is what it matters.
Is it not my right to have my stuff back especially when i bought it with my own money? I can't even bear to use it myself.
Swearing and cursing doesn't make things better as well.
Sigh.
17 July 2007
:: Happy Me ::
I think I'm happy. :)
I think I'm lucky.
Its amazing how one thing led to another within such a short time. No, I'm not complaining.
Why should I?
I didn't expect this and it came as a bonus. me think.
I thought I would never feel the same way again after E left about 6 years ago.
The feeling which I have been secretly hoping for in every relationship after E.
I thought I would never be so lucky to find someone who will make me feel that way.
But I was wrong.
No, it's not a replacement. No, it's not.
Through E and the failed relationships along the way, I know what kind of man I like and what kind of man I would want to spend my lifetime with.
Then he happen to come into my life unexpectedly.
And I'm happy. I'm glad he fits in almost perfectly.
I know there's gonna be some obstacles ahead of us and it may gonna be rough.
I can't say for sure I'm very confident but i'm trying my best to be positive and keep this going as much as I can.
He has been so sweet and such a darling that I can't help falling.
Oh wait, I think I might just have fallen. :)
26 June 2007
:: happily ever-after? ::
Do i still deserve any happily ever after? After breaking his heart? In his words, so cruelly and heartlessly?
I know I'm selfish. But I also know I can't compromise my future.
I know I can try. But I also know I have no more energy.
I know I can be positive. But I also know I can't deceive myself anymore.
Yes, i know some may think i'm heartless. Shouldn't I give another shot especially we've been thru so much through the years?
But just like you all think, i'm heartless.. yes, I dun have the heart to stay anymore.
It is sad to see how this goes down the drain after so long. After having to try to convince everyone around me to accept us.
It was really tough. But I bite thru and finally got what I want...or so I thought. But look! what happens after that? Don't ask me why the things turned out the way it is. I have no clue and no answer for it. It just happen and the most I can do is to deal with it.
It was difficult to come to term with myself that I have to be this cruel. Why did I let it happen this way? Why have I done? Or What have I not done? Am I really this bad? Am I making a mistake? Why am I like that? Am I truely like that? I couldn't believe it but I know I have to be true to myself. Suddenly, I seem to have lose myself as I wander deeper into these thoughts.
It isn't the best ending. But I thought I did what I did for my own best and...indirectly, for his good?
If i see it going no where, isn't it better to take off now than when wedding bells ring?
I am sorry for what I've done and I know I've hurt you badly. It's my bad and I take full responsibilty for it.
You mentioned about karma. I know retribution will fall upon me one day. Even if it means sacrificing my "happily ever-after", i guess I still would have made the same decision.
I wish you the best.
I'm sorry. I truely am.
*************************************************************************
I finally teared when I heard this song in my Ipod. Every word seems to tell me how he felt. And i feel so bad.
张学友
我真的受伤了
窗外阴天了
音乐低声了
我的心开始想你了
灯光也暗了
音乐低声了
口中的棉花糖也融化了
窗外阴天了
人是无聊了
我的心开始想你了
电话响起了
你要说话了
还以为你心里对我又想念了
怎么你声音变得冷淡了
是你变了
是你变了
灯光熄灭了
音乐静止了
滴下的眼泪已停不住了
天下起雨了
人是不快乐
我的心真的受伤了
I know I'm selfish. But I also know I can't compromise my future.
I know I can try. But I also know I have no more energy.
I know I can be positive. But I also know I can't deceive myself anymore.
Yes, i know some may think i'm heartless. Shouldn't I give another shot especially we've been thru so much through the years?
But just like you all think, i'm heartless.. yes, I dun have the heart to stay anymore.
It is sad to see how this goes down the drain after so long. After having to try to convince everyone around me to accept us.
It was really tough. But I bite thru and finally got what I want...or so I thought. But look! what happens after that? Don't ask me why the things turned out the way it is. I have no clue and no answer for it. It just happen and the most I can do is to deal with it.
It was difficult to come to term with myself that I have to be this cruel. Why did I let it happen this way? Why have I done? Or What have I not done? Am I really this bad? Am I making a mistake? Why am I like that? Am I truely like that? I couldn't believe it but I know I have to be true to myself. Suddenly, I seem to have lose myself as I wander deeper into these thoughts.
It isn't the best ending. But I thought I did what I did for my own best and...indirectly, for his good?
If i see it going no where, isn't it better to take off now than when wedding bells ring?
I am sorry for what I've done and I know I've hurt you badly. It's my bad and I take full responsibilty for it.
You mentioned about karma. I know retribution will fall upon me one day. Even if it means sacrificing my "happily ever-after", i guess I still would have made the same decision.
I wish you the best.
I'm sorry. I truely am.
*************************************************************************
I finally teared when I heard this song in my Ipod. Every word seems to tell me how he felt. And i feel so bad.
张学友
我真的受伤了
窗外阴天了
音乐低声了
我的心开始想你了
灯光也暗了
音乐低声了
口中的棉花糖也融化了
窗外阴天了
人是无聊了
我的心开始想你了
电话响起了
你要说话了
还以为你心里对我又想念了
怎么你声音变得冷淡了
是你变了
是你变了
灯光熄灭了
音乐静止了
滴下的眼泪已停不住了
天下起雨了
人是不快乐
我的心真的受伤了
22 June 2007
:: mistakes? ::
I wonder... do we really need to take many wrong turns in order to know the right way?
I wonder...does it mean I have to make some mistakes before I know what is right?
I wonder...does it mean I have to make some mistakes before I know what is right?
:: now what ::
Well, things doesn't really seem to get any better.
I did try. But somehow I dunno why it doesn't feel the same anymore.
I have been trying to be positive.
I did what he told me to. Look back and see how we have come so far. The memories should guide us back to the right track.
Sometimes it does, but most of the times I find myself runnng away from it.
I dare not look into the future.
Am I just sitting here letting time pass by and see where it takes me?
I am not who I am. Am i?
I did try. But somehow I dunno why it doesn't feel the same anymore.
I have been trying to be positive.
I did what he told me to. Look back and see how we have come so far. The memories should guide us back to the right track.
Sometimes it does, but most of the times I find myself runnng away from it.
I dare not look into the future.
Am I just sitting here letting time pass by and see where it takes me?
I am not who I am. Am i?
18 June 2007
:: To-Do List ::
Guess i have to write these stuff down before I forget or more accurately procrastinate away...
1. Scrapbook!!
2. Plan july vacation trip
3. Update resume and cover letters
4. Look out for jobs
5. Save save save money!
okie... think i have forgotten the others. will update them when i remember.
what a slacker i am.
1. Scrapbook!!
2. Plan july vacation trip
3. Update resume and cover letters
4. Look out for jobs
5. Save save save money!
okie... think i have forgotten the others. will update them when i remember.
what a slacker i am.
:: i dunno what title ::
I feel like writing..but i dunno what to write.... So i'm just randomly throwing some irrelevant, nonsensical words out of my head now.
Dum dee dum dee dum dee dum...la la la la la la la..
oh ya, should I leave my current job? Its still a big question in my head...
I want to move on but I'm afraid. I dun feel quite confident about myself, neither do I think I'm smart. Plus the fact that I dun have any experience. Now... i wonder which company, in the area I'm interested, will consider my application. Hahaha. And of course, the next biggest concern is pay cut. I wonder if I'll be able to manage the pay cut.
Aaarrrggggghhhh.... HOW!!??!?!?!?!?!???!??!?!?!?
I'm kinda stuck.
oh..that reminds me of a song... Stuck In A Moment by U2.
Nice.
BUT still stuck. AAARRRRGGH!
Dum dee dum dee dum dee dum...la la la la la la la..
oh ya, should I leave my current job? Its still a big question in my head...
I want to move on but I'm afraid. I dun feel quite confident about myself, neither do I think I'm smart. Plus the fact that I dun have any experience. Now... i wonder which company, in the area I'm interested, will consider my application. Hahaha. And of course, the next biggest concern is pay cut. I wonder if I'll be able to manage the pay cut.
Aaarrrggggghhhh.... HOW!!??!?!?!?!?!???!??!?!?!?
I'm kinda stuck.
oh..that reminds me of a song... Stuck In A Moment by U2.
Nice.
BUT still stuck. AAARRRRGGH!
16 June 2007
:: Back to square one ::
I went through one big round and am back to square one.
It isn't all a bad thing though.
At least I have learnt that there is really someone out there who truely loves me wholeheartedly and willing to do anything for me.
I felt touched when he said that.
As for me, I guess I have to learn to start from scratch again. Start loving all over again (just that its the same person) coz I think I have gotten used to be at the receiving end than giving. I think its time for me to try start giving. Hopefully things work out fine this time and just like in fairytale, happily ever after (dreaming again?!?!)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Things between C and I got better after we thrash out our feelings. It was good.
This is a good example of how good things turned bad. Hahaha.. We were trying so hard to be sensitive to each other and trying to make each other feel better, that the tension between us built up and had caused a certain level of awkwardness and discomfort.
But I'm glad the issue is over and certainly feel like the load is off my mind especially when I poured out my inner feelings.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
On this note, I would like to proclaim that I'm an EMO Freak and I hate it!!!!
But sometimes, I like it, I DO!
Oh shucks!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Some time ago, we went Desaru....guess what? we played MJ all daaaaaay loooooooooonnnnnggg!
It isn't all a bad thing though.
At least I have learnt that there is really someone out there who truely loves me wholeheartedly and willing to do anything for me.
I felt touched when he said that.
As for me, I guess I have to learn to start from scratch again. Start loving all over again (just that its the same person) coz I think I have gotten used to be at the receiving end than giving. I think its time for me to try start giving. Hopefully things work out fine this time and just like in fairytale, happily ever after (dreaming again?!?!)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Things between C and I got better after we thrash out our feelings. It was good.
This is a good example of how good things turned bad. Hahaha.. We were trying so hard to be sensitive to each other and trying to make each other feel better, that the tension between us built up and had caused a certain level of awkwardness and discomfort.
But I'm glad the issue is over and certainly feel like the load is off my mind especially when I poured out my inner feelings.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
On this note, I would like to proclaim that I'm an EMO Freak and I hate it!!!!
But sometimes, I like it, I DO!
Oh shucks!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Some time ago, we went Desaru....guess what? we played MJ all daaaaaay loooooooooonnnnnggg!
04 May 2007
:: standby ::
I was on standby today and tmr. It was the first time i didn't called up today!
But I was activated for Denpasar turn tmr. In fact, I need to wake up at 5am...later.
Oh well, I will be coming back at 1535... so no complaint.
So today wasn't wasted after all. I studied my Biz class notes (which I'm going be trained soon) and even jote down the important things. In the end, it was pages after pages! Suddenly, I felt like I was back in school. How nice.... If only.... sigh.
My hands feel so tired after all the writings! And i feel like my brain has been over-fed with information.
I am excited to be trained for Business class but at the same time I am apprehensive about that too. The fear of working with the chiefs, the fear of not able to work as fast, the fear of not being equipped with enough product knowledge, just puts me off. It's like starting all over again, just like those times when I began working. Its really.... annoying.
Oh well, I guess its a stage I HAVE to go thru. After all my bond ends in September.
Really hope it will be all smooth sailing. :)
**************************************************************
He came over today to accompany me since I'm stuck at home waiting for any possible activation from my standby.
But... he slept most of the time while I'm studying my notes. He was feeling a bit unwell, having sore throat, cough and all.
I wished he had talk to me more coz it has been while since we last went out, talk and have fun. And recently, when he is out with me, he kept saying he was tired. So our outing didn't last long mainly coz I was put off with his tiredness. Somehow, I realised he was only tired when he's with me????
Although I should be appreciative of his effort of coming down to meet me (even for only half hour) when he was tired, somehow I felt it was not enough. Am i being demanding or taking things for granted?
For the first few times, I was touched when he came all the way down to meet me even when he is tired. But as it become so frequent, I began to think "What's the point"? Simply because, we can't do anything when he is tired. He will be grumpy and give me the vibes that he wanna go home. On some days when I'm free, all I wanted was to spend time with him, which we haven't been doing for quite a while. I would dress up and felt happy that we are finally heading out somewhere. But everytime, within 2 hours or so, he will be complaining he is tired. And what can I say? "Go home lor".
I just feel very disappointed each time.
Is it me or... what? I really don't know.
Well, I am glad he came to accompany me today though he wasn't feeling very well.
But I was activated for Denpasar turn tmr. In fact, I need to wake up at 5am...later.
Oh well, I will be coming back at 1535... so no complaint.
So today wasn't wasted after all. I studied my Biz class notes (which I'm going be trained soon) and even jote down the important things. In the end, it was pages after pages! Suddenly, I felt like I was back in school. How nice.... If only.... sigh.
My hands feel so tired after all the writings! And i feel like my brain has been over-fed with information.
I am excited to be trained for Business class but at the same time I am apprehensive about that too. The fear of working with the chiefs, the fear of not able to work as fast, the fear of not being equipped with enough product knowledge, just puts me off. It's like starting all over again, just like those times when I began working. Its really.... annoying.
Oh well, I guess its a stage I HAVE to go thru. After all my bond ends in September.
Really hope it will be all smooth sailing. :)
**************************************************************
He came over today to accompany me since I'm stuck at home waiting for any possible activation from my standby.
But... he slept most of the time while I'm studying my notes. He was feeling a bit unwell, having sore throat, cough and all.
I wished he had talk to me more coz it has been while since we last went out, talk and have fun. And recently, when he is out with me, he kept saying he was tired. So our outing didn't last long mainly coz I was put off with his tiredness. Somehow, I realised he was only tired when he's with me????
Although I should be appreciative of his effort of coming down to meet me (even for only half hour) when he was tired, somehow I felt it was not enough. Am i being demanding or taking things for granted?
For the first few times, I was touched when he came all the way down to meet me even when he is tired. But as it become so frequent, I began to think "What's the point"? Simply because, we can't do anything when he is tired. He will be grumpy and give me the vibes that he wanna go home. On some days when I'm free, all I wanted was to spend time with him, which we haven't been doing for quite a while. I would dress up and felt happy that we are finally heading out somewhere. But everytime, within 2 hours or so, he will be complaining he is tired. And what can I say? "Go home lor".
I just feel very disappointed each time.
Is it me or... what? I really don't know.
Well, I am glad he came to accompany me today though he wasn't feeling very well.
03 May 2007
:: someone ::
And so I let it all out.
Said everything I felt.
"Nothing" was the result.
As usual the door is shut.
I thought that was enough.
It has been tough.
I just want some connection,
Not isolation.
I just need some concern,
Not some nonchalance.
You said you were here all along.
I said i have never felt so alone.
You said this is your way of loving.
I said this is all wrong.
I need someone to depend on.
But where have you gone?
I do not need someone perfect.
But someone I can relate.
I do not need someone ideal.
But someone who makes me feel real.
I do not need a superman.
But someone who can hold my hand firmly throughout our life span.
Be it good times or bad times,
Someone who is my pillar of strength;
Someone who I can say we are one.
Are you that someone?
You said you are.
You want me to believe.
I want to, baby.
But darling, you have to show me.
You said you will keep trying.
And I will be right here waiting.
Said everything I felt.
"Nothing" was the result.
As usual the door is shut.
I thought that was enough.
It has been tough.
I just want some connection,
Not isolation.
I just need some concern,
Not some nonchalance.
You said you were here all along.
I said i have never felt so alone.
You said this is your way of loving.
I said this is all wrong.
I need someone to depend on.
But where have you gone?
I do not need someone perfect.
But someone I can relate.
I do not need someone ideal.
But someone who makes me feel real.
I do not need a superman.
But someone who can hold my hand firmly throughout our life span.
Be it good times or bad times,
Someone who is my pillar of strength;
Someone who I can say we are one.
Are you that someone?
You said you are.
You want me to believe.
I want to, baby.
But darling, you have to show me.
You said you will keep trying.
And I will be right here waiting.
02 May 2007
:: confused ::
Feeling a bit confused about certain things.
I don't know what I'm feeling actually.
Is it going to be like this from now on? Is it going downhill. Or.. is it just temporary?
Then what am I suppose to do?
I don't know what I'm feeling actually.
Is it going to be like this from now on? Is it going downhill. Or.. is it just temporary?
Then what am I suppose to do?
:: mushroom ::
I wanted to get a trim initially. However, i saw a model in a magazine with a haircut which i think it looked quite cute. And so i toyed with the idea of getting the same hairstyle. My long-time hair stylist said it would be nice and hence, as usual, i entrusted my precious hair to him.
It turned out to be very refreshing which i guessed many would need some time getting used to. To be honest, I had wanted to cut this hair style since i was in my teens. I just didn't have the guts to do that then. I wonder where did I find the courage to do it now. :) I called it the "mushroom head". :p
Today, I have mixed feeling about the mushroom. While I quite liked it yesterday, today seemed different and I began to find the mushroom looked kinda weird. Oh no...
It turned out to be very refreshing which i guessed many would need some time getting used to. To be honest, I had wanted to cut this hair style since i was in my teens. I just didn't have the guts to do that then. I wonder where did I find the courage to do it now. :) I called it the "mushroom head". :p
Today, I have mixed feeling about the mushroom. While I quite liked it yesterday, today seemed different and I began to find the mushroom looked kinda weird. Oh no...
27 April 2007
:: birthday ::
Birthday is spent with some really good friends of mine, who have been with me through the ups and downs of life.
To know that these same people are still here with you on such occasion is truly heart warming.
A simple dinner is all I asked for. No more hoo-has and bangs-bangs on birthdays. hmm...
Well...seemed to have mellow down a lot in the recent years. I guessed it comes with age? Heh!
To those who came, thank you! I love u guys.
To those who sent the wishes, thank you too!
Later we went to a KTV session and had a good time singing and..... dancing? Check them out.
To know that these same people are still here with you on such occasion is truly heart warming.
A simple dinner is all I asked for. No more hoo-has and bangs-bangs on birthdays. hmm...
Well...seemed to have mellow down a lot in the recent years. I guessed it comes with age? Heh!
To those who came, thank you! I love u guys.
To those who sent the wishes, thank you too!
Later we went to a KTV session and had a good time singing and..... dancing? Check them out.
06 April 2007
:: Bangkok, Cape Town::
I know i haven't been blogging. Well there are certain things and feelings which i very much wanted to pen it down. However, with the chances that the people involved might get to read, I guessed I will just keep it to myself.
****************************************
Recently, I went to Bangkok for a short vacation. It has been years since I last went there. It didn't change much. I had a wonderful time shopping, shopping and shopping. I have never seen my dear shop so much before!!! really enjoyed this short trip.
****************************************
First Time to Cape Town! And its B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L!!!!!
****************************************
Recently, I went to Bangkok for a short vacation. It has been years since I last went there. It didn't change much. I had a wonderful time shopping, shopping and shopping. I have never seen my dear shop so much before!!! really enjoyed this short trip.
****************************************
First Time to Cape Town! And its B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L!!!!!
02 March 2007
:: Mycoplasma ::
Still missing my granny. Couldn't really believe that she's gone...for a month already.
Somehow, somewhat, just kept thinking of her. The things she had said and done.
I can't describe how much I really miss her and how much i really really hope i have a chance to speak to her again, to hug her and to tell her how much I love her. I wished i could have at least dream of her and tell that in my dream. But I'm useless. The dream just didn't come on.
****************************
I fell terribly sick when I came back from Istanbul last week. Had a very very bad bacteria infection of my lungs. I had high fever and cough for a week. Luckily (after a week!!!), doc found out what was wrong after I did the blood test. Clinical Diagnosis: Mycoplasma Pneumonia Infection. So I'm taking the anti-biotics now. And yes, I'm recovering. Phew~
Somehow, somewhat, just kept thinking of her. The things she had said and done.
I can't describe how much I really miss her and how much i really really hope i have a chance to speak to her again, to hug her and to tell her how much I love her. I wished i could have at least dream of her and tell that in my dream. But I'm useless. The dream just didn't come on.
****************************
I fell terribly sick when I came back from Istanbul last week. Had a very very bad bacteria infection of my lungs. I had high fever and cough for a week. Luckily (after a week!!!), doc found out what was wrong after I did the blood test. Clinical Diagnosis: Mycoplasma Pneumonia Infection. So I'm taking the anti-biotics now. And yes, I'm recovering. Phew~
08 February 2007
:: 奶奶 ::
奶奶 - that's how we have been addressing our beloved granny since we were born.
奶奶 just passed away last wednesday. 1st of Feb. Too sudden. Too unexpectedly. Everyone was devastated.
Wthin a year, both of my grandparents whom I was very close to, whom I have grown up with, left us. My 爷爷 passed away on the last day of feb (28th feb) last year while my 奶奶 on the 1st of feb.
My 奶奶 was a very remarkable woman and was the entire family's pillar of strength. I remembered she did not shed a tear when my 爷爷 passed away because she knew we would all break down if she broke down. So she tolerated and put on a brave front, often encouraging us, consoling us. She was seen occasionally tearing as she talked about my 爷爷 a few months after the event.
She's like that. She's those of kind of person who would put everything on her shoulder and give the best for her children, for her grandchildren, her own brothers and sisters, even her neighbours. She would listen patiently to your woes, and then counsel you. She's impartial too. She won't side you when you have done wrong just because you are her family. She has helped to patch many relatonships in the family. Sometimes when I faced some problems, I would rather talk to her.
I can't tell you how wonderful she is unless you have actually met her. My 奶奶 is very open-minded (than my mum!!) and is very advanced in terms of her mentality.
Go ask around my neighbourhood and you will realise how popular she is. Everyone knows her for her cheerfulness, her smiles and her optimism. She never like to trouble people but she'll bring joy to people around her. Her friends for over 70 years, kept telling us how wonderful she is.
Sigh. I really love her and I wanted her to witness my wedding. Sob.
Well, hope she is now reunited with my 爷爷 and travelling around the world.
We gave my 奶奶 a sea burial, just like my 爷爷, as they had requested when they were alive. On the day when we collected her ashes, we found that my 奶奶 has relics! Its a good sign for us! Four of them, one black, one green, one white...the other one im not sure. Anyway, we then proceeded to changi ferry terminal for the sea burial. After the burial, my cousin took a picture of the sky as it was beautiful and we then realised something. It was pretty cloudy actually. But at the area where we put our 奶奶's ashes, the clouds moved apart, and rays came shining down.
Well, it could be coincidental. But it sure felt good.
We were at the sea, behind those trees.
My 奶奶's relics.
I miss my 奶奶!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :'(
奶奶 just passed away last wednesday. 1st of Feb. Too sudden. Too unexpectedly. Everyone was devastated.
Wthin a year, both of my grandparents whom I was very close to, whom I have grown up with, left us. My 爷爷 passed away on the last day of feb (28th feb) last year while my 奶奶 on the 1st of feb.
My 奶奶 was a very remarkable woman and was the entire family's pillar of strength. I remembered she did not shed a tear when my 爷爷 passed away because she knew we would all break down if she broke down. So she tolerated and put on a brave front, often encouraging us, consoling us. She was seen occasionally tearing as she talked about my 爷爷 a few months after the event.
She's like that. She's those of kind of person who would put everything on her shoulder and give the best for her children, for her grandchildren, her own brothers and sisters, even her neighbours. She would listen patiently to your woes, and then counsel you. She's impartial too. She won't side you when you have done wrong just because you are her family. She has helped to patch many relatonships in the family. Sometimes when I faced some problems, I would rather talk to her.
I can't tell you how wonderful she is unless you have actually met her. My 奶奶 is very open-minded (than my mum!!) and is very advanced in terms of her mentality.
Go ask around my neighbourhood and you will realise how popular she is. Everyone knows her for her cheerfulness, her smiles and her optimism. She never like to trouble people but she'll bring joy to people around her. Her friends for over 70 years, kept telling us how wonderful she is.
Sigh. I really love her and I wanted her to witness my wedding. Sob.
Well, hope she is now reunited with my 爷爷 and travelling around the world.
We gave my 奶奶 a sea burial, just like my 爷爷, as they had requested when they were alive. On the day when we collected her ashes, we found that my 奶奶 has relics! Its a good sign for us! Four of them, one black, one green, one white...the other one im not sure. Anyway, we then proceeded to changi ferry terminal for the sea burial. After the burial, my cousin took a picture of the sky as it was beautiful and we then realised something. It was pretty cloudy actually. But at the area where we put our 奶奶's ashes, the clouds moved apart, and rays came shining down.
Well, it could be coincidental. But it sure felt good.
We were at the sea, behind those trees.
My 奶奶's relics.
I miss my 奶奶!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :'(
24 January 2007
:: A pleasant surprise ::
Hmm...How time flies. A blink of the eye took us to our third year together.
I still can remember vividly how we started, how he flew to Sweden to look for me, how we spent the early part of our time together in a foreign country. But for those we know me well, you will also remember the rough times I had been through with him. For about a year and half, I had been very unhappy with him. More often than not, my pillow would be wet with tears. Thinking back, the countless squabbles and fights we had still pain my heart as I write. Then came a time when I think I could perserve no more coz of his non-chalent attitude. A breakup would be a better option for me.
Apparently, that didn't happen. If you'd recalled from my earlier postings, he promised to change when he realised I was serious about leaving. I decided to give another shot, with very little faith in him. Little did I know, he meant every single word he said. He really changed completely. Eerr...oh well...perhaps a good 80%. And so we have been living happily since then. I'm contented.
So this year, I made him plan what we should do to celebrate this day together. Once again, I doubt his capability in this area coz he's really a block of wood!?!?!?!!? Nonetheless, I gave him a chance to prove otherwise... while I'm all prepared for a disappointment.
He refused to tell me where we were going and left me guessing, which was, indeed, very annoying! He purposely dropped many misleading hints to get me thinking about something else. I acted like I couldn't care and passed nasty remarks like he would really disappoint me, etc. However, the fact is I was dying to find out. Yet, I'm so afraid he would ruin it because of his inability to plan a nice day.
He came about an hour and half late. No matter how beautiful the day was, it just turned dark on my side. I was sooooo furious that I gave him a dressing down. But he just dragged me and said he would explained later...which got me angrier! Then, he said we'll eat in Orchard road, so I agreed...then he turned into Vivocity and said we'll eat there instead. We parked at the hawker centre carpark and I told him I wanted eat at the hawker centre. I didn't give up. I kept pressing him for an explanation on why he was late, but to no avail. After lunch, he said we'll go over to Vivocity to buy drink... But but but...i told him we could buy at the hawker centre. He just "aiyah...fjhkjbfjkw245678" and dragged me there. Hmm....suspicious! We went up to the third storey. "There's no supermarket up there lor!!!" I said. He hurried his foot steps and bought 2 Sentosa Express tickets.
"OOoOooh...... we are going to sentosa???" I said sheepishly. "Don't tell me you booked Rasa Sentosa?? (*smile*) Oh wait...you won't...you so stingy and unromantic.... OH NO!! Don't tell me you booked the NTUC Chalet?? the Kampong HUT ONE????(*panic*) My mind was going through all the most unromantic situations he can come up with... It didn't help when he just played along with me. I was fully prepared for a disappointment now.
We took the beach tram and headed towards the NTUC Chalet direction. "oh god..... this is for real...." I kept thinking to myself. However, at one stop, he pulled me out of the tram abruptly and in front of me, I was confronted with a very new and nice building. Hmm... it says... "Siloso Beach Resort". "We are going here? its new? how come i never see this before? you sure?? Where are we going?" I babbered on as he, once again, pulled me to the front door, without answering any of my questons. We took the lift to the 8th floor. "Heh? how come u no need to check in? Why u dun have to go to the reception? where is this place?" I continued.
"Aiyah, we are going through here to get to the NTUC chalet lah...its just beside it" he finally said.
"WHAT??? u must be kidding!! There can't be a through road here... hmm... then again, how did u know? U bluffing me riiiiighhhhhtttt???" I grinned secretly and my heart pounced rapidly.
As we came out of the lift, he just kept walking and suddenly stopped at a room and opened. I was taken aback and followed him through, smiling from one ear to another. The moment I stepped in, I noticed the stairway. "WHAT!!?!?! Its DOUBLE STOREY???" I dashed up the stairs with excitement. "Its an open-air Jacuzzi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed.
I quickly ran down and jumped on him and gave him a bear hug!
As we went up again to take a closer look, I noticed there were candles on the floor. Stupidly, i said "hey..someone forgot to clear their candles here...." I opened the door and found a bouquet of flowers on the deck chair. Another surprise! Now i remembered where these candles came from... heehee. It wasn't leftovers. How silly.
Then he explained to me he was late coz he had to come here to check in first. Hee...whatever. I'm not angry already. Hahhahaa...I'm such a typical bitch, ain't i?
Appreciate what he had done. At least, I am 50% convinced that he's not that block of wood after all, that is, if he wanna make an effort. Hahahaha. Why am I complaining? What more could I ask for? Hahaha...
Maybe to some of you, it wasn't a real romantic deal. But to me, it was sweet enough.
Love you baby.
I still can remember vividly how we started, how he flew to Sweden to look for me, how we spent the early part of our time together in a foreign country. But for those we know me well, you will also remember the rough times I had been through with him. For about a year and half, I had been very unhappy with him. More often than not, my pillow would be wet with tears. Thinking back, the countless squabbles and fights we had still pain my heart as I write. Then came a time when I think I could perserve no more coz of his non-chalent attitude. A breakup would be a better option for me.
Apparently, that didn't happen. If you'd recalled from my earlier postings, he promised to change when he realised I was serious about leaving. I decided to give another shot, with very little faith in him. Little did I know, he meant every single word he said. He really changed completely. Eerr...oh well...perhaps a good 80%. And so we have been living happily since then. I'm contented.
So this year, I made him plan what we should do to celebrate this day together. Once again, I doubt his capability in this area coz he's really a block of wood!?!?!?!!? Nonetheless, I gave him a chance to prove otherwise... while I'm all prepared for a disappointment.
He refused to tell me where we were going and left me guessing, which was, indeed, very annoying! He purposely dropped many misleading hints to get me thinking about something else. I acted like I couldn't care and passed nasty remarks like he would really disappoint me, etc. However, the fact is I was dying to find out. Yet, I'm so afraid he would ruin it because of his inability to plan a nice day.
He came about an hour and half late. No matter how beautiful the day was, it just turned dark on my side. I was sooooo furious that I gave him a dressing down. But he just dragged me and said he would explained later...which got me angrier! Then, he said we'll eat in Orchard road, so I agreed...then he turned into Vivocity and said we'll eat there instead. We parked at the hawker centre carpark and I told him I wanted eat at the hawker centre. I didn't give up. I kept pressing him for an explanation on why he was late, but to no avail. After lunch, he said we'll go over to Vivocity to buy drink... But but but...i told him we could buy at the hawker centre. He just "aiyah...fjhkjbfjkw245678" and dragged me there. Hmm....suspicious! We went up to the third storey. "There's no supermarket up there lor!!!" I said. He hurried his foot steps and bought 2 Sentosa Express tickets.
"OOoOooh...... we are going to sentosa???" I said sheepishly. "Don't tell me you booked Rasa Sentosa?? (*smile*) Oh wait...you won't...you so stingy and unromantic.... OH NO!! Don't tell me you booked the NTUC Chalet?? the Kampong HUT ONE????(*panic*) My mind was going through all the most unromantic situations he can come up with... It didn't help when he just played along with me. I was fully prepared for a disappointment now.
We took the beach tram and headed towards the NTUC Chalet direction. "oh god..... this is for real...." I kept thinking to myself. However, at one stop, he pulled me out of the tram abruptly and in front of me, I was confronted with a very new and nice building. Hmm... it says... "Siloso Beach Resort". "We are going here? its new? how come i never see this before? you sure?? Where are we going?" I babbered on as he, once again, pulled me to the front door, without answering any of my questons. We took the lift to the 8th floor. "Heh? how come u no need to check in? Why u dun have to go to the reception? where is this place?" I continued.
"Aiyah, we are going through here to get to the NTUC chalet lah...its just beside it" he finally said.
"WHAT??? u must be kidding!! There can't be a through road here... hmm... then again, how did u know? U bluffing me riiiiighhhhhtttt???" I grinned secretly and my heart pounced rapidly.
As we came out of the lift, he just kept walking and suddenly stopped at a room and opened. I was taken aback and followed him through, smiling from one ear to another. The moment I stepped in, I noticed the stairway. "WHAT!!?!?! Its DOUBLE STOREY???" I dashed up the stairs with excitement. "Its an open-air Jacuzzi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed.
I quickly ran down and jumped on him and gave him a bear hug!
As we went up again to take a closer look, I noticed there were candles on the floor. Stupidly, i said "hey..someone forgot to clear their candles here...." I opened the door and found a bouquet of flowers on the deck chair. Another surprise! Now i remembered where these candles came from... heehee. It wasn't leftovers. How silly.
Then he explained to me he was late coz he had to come here to check in first. Hee...whatever. I'm not angry already. Hahhahaa...I'm such a typical bitch, ain't i?
Appreciate what he had done. At least, I am 50% convinced that he's not that block of wood after all, that is, if he wanna make an effort. Hahahaha. Why am I complaining? What more could I ask for? Hahaha...
Maybe to some of you, it wasn't a real romantic deal. But to me, it was sweet enough.
Love you baby.
16 January 2007
:: Theatre of dreams ::
Yes, I've been to the theatre of dreams! Old Traford Stadium at Manchester!
Was tired after the long flight the first day... so didn't go around much. I was even comtemplating not to go to the stadium the next day. But luckily, my boy convinced me to.
So, the three of us headed to the stadium. It was a pretty looong walk from the Old Traford Stadium. The bitter cold wind and the slight rain seems to make the journey even longer.
The grand Man Utd Entrance!
At the Man Utd Museum... some of their display...
The STADIUM!!!!!!!! It was awesome!!!
And I Lost my mind when I went into the players' changing room!
SEE! I told you i went bonkers.
Was tired after the long flight the first day... so didn't go around much. I was even comtemplating not to go to the stadium the next day. But luckily, my boy convinced me to.
So, the three of us headed to the stadium. It was a pretty looong walk from the Old Traford Stadium. The bitter cold wind and the slight rain seems to make the journey even longer.
The grand Man Utd Entrance!
At the Man Utd Museum... some of their display...
The STADIUM!!!!!!!! It was awesome!!!
And I Lost my mind when I went into the players' changing room!
SEE! I told you i went bonkers.
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